I am all for forgive and forget. Okay, maybe not forget, but definitely forgive. I have a long track record of getting back together with an ex after a substantial amount of time has passed. One in particular has been recurring for 7 years now.
This guy, let's call him "James," entered my life during my freshman year of high school. He didn't go to my school--in fact, he lived 40 minutes away. We met through mutual friends one day, and there was instantaneous attraction. There was also the huge problem of neither of us being able to drive, so our romance blossomed through phone calls and AIM conversations. Needless to say that didn't work out so well. We parted ways for the first time after a few months.
Next time around (2 years later), we had got to talking for whatever flimsy reason you want to choose. He was staying in a beach town near me for the last month of summer, and it seemed like fate. We had exactly one good week, going to the beach and cuddling at night, until one day he started acting sketchy--little things at first, then completely bailed on our plans for the night. Unruffled, I went to the boardwalk with some friends. Wonder of wonders, who did I see strolling along, holding another girl's hand? End round two.
That little debacle had created a broad buffer that lasted until my second year of college. At this point, I'm not even sure who initiated the conversation or how it all went, but we recreated a high school romance and tried to adapt it to the adults we were. In some ways, this ended up better than any other time, considering the time that had passed and the extent to which we had grown up. Downside: I lived in California and he was still in Jersey. All seemed okay, however, because I was coming home in 2 months. Until I found out he lied about his...conquests (for lack of a better word) during our brief romance.
A sane person would be done with someone at this point. But believe me when I say this boy's powers of apology and persuasion are great, especially when one is coming off of a horrendous relationship and just needs a little bit of familiarity.
So back again, 2 weeks after the confession, we forgave and forgot. At this point I was about a month away from home. He came to see me the first week I got back, and we had an amazing night--probably one of the best we've ever spent. But conversations started to slow, and we couldn't find time to see each other, so it fizzled out, in a somewhat hostile manner.
Fast forward to present day. Fresh off of a year long relationship, I moved from California to Jersey and lo and behold, my favorite ex's radar that tells him I'm single went off, because he got in contact with me again. I told him we had to be strictly friends--of course a notion that lasted all of one week. He turned the tables on me, though, when he told me we should go back to being friends and that he had met someone else. I was far from crushed--I didn't want to start in the drama after everything I had been through with my other ex. But we still talk as friends, which is a good step up from all of our other romantic hiatuses.
I would be lying if I said I was done with him for good. But I know for now, friends is the right way to go. Should I have taken him back every time I did? Probably not. But would I know everything I know now if I hadn't? Definitely not.