Excuse me Mr. Potter, you are mistaken. He who must not be named is not Lord Voldemort, it’s my ex. The guy I’d love to forget ever existed. Sure, I was once happy as a lamb to be in that relationship. The same lamb that’s in line to become the next dinner item from the slaughterhouse...(sigh). Ignorance isn't always bliss, is it?
Exes. The one word that is sure to elicit an automatic shudder reflex if said aloud. It has to. If the relationship had gone well, you’d still be dating. The whole point of having an ex means it did not end well. One or both parties wanted out. Either of which is not flattering to anyone’s psyche.
The worst part of post-break-up by far is that your ex will not disappear. He still exists. And (gasp) you could run into him any time, day or night. It can be paralyzing fear. Quickly after you sever all contact, that fear sets in.
Pretty soon going out to grab a quick cup of coffee in your comfortable clothes, turns into mission impossible. What if you happened to see your ex? You want to look your absolute best: happy, vibrant. Not sleepy and mismatched.
Then it starts. You only leave the house if you’ve had time to do your hair and make-up well. Or you don a pair sun glasses and never take them off like Katie Holmes. At least if your ex does catch a glimpse of you he won’t have to stare at your crow’s feet. Then, you begin to let your guard down. You stop avoiding all the places you went to when you were a “we.” You become less militant about your appearance…and BAM!
You run straight in to your ex and (gasp in horror) his new girlfriend when you least expect it. What can you do?
Top 3 Tips For Avoiding Your Lord Voldemort:
Hide: If you happen to spot your ex before he notices and you're not ready, odds are you should hide. Crouching down near the floor or dodging behind another person is at least less embarrassing than running in the opposite direction the moment your eyes meet. Channel your inner child and make sure you hide so well, you can’t be found. The second the opportunity has passed, you can breath a sigh of relief…until you start a harsher beauty ritual before leaving the house again.
Avoid and cringe: It’s damage control time. You both spotted each other. Now what do you do? How does a nice look of revulsion sound? Unfortunately, this is not a choice you can altogether control if you see your ex. While your sour face may not show the confident shade you intended, it sends a clear message, "Stay away. Do Not Approach or I’ll set a pack of wolves on you." And that does the trick! You now have an unspoken agreement to avoid one another should you ever meet again.
Smile and hope you look stunning: The day you run into your ex so happens to be a good day. The one day you did dress up. There’s no reason to run away or send angry vibes because you feel good. And…it gives your ex and chance to see what he’s been missing. This is by far the best-case scenario. Your ex may come over if he isn’t crouching out of sight and you exchange pleasantries no matter how false they may be. When you walk away, you’ve unmistakably shown you’re not at home weeping over him. Your back on the market and this time with more sass and spunk they he’ll ever get to know.
As a general rule of thumb if you run into an ex, stop by the store on your way home. You can nurse yourself back to health with a tray of brownies.
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